My Favorite Present

Growing up, I always dreamed about coming downstairs Christmas morning and seeing a little tiny puppy or kitten in my stocking. I was always jealous of my sister (who is three years older than me) who had so far had three dogs and whose dog at the time (who we still have) was two years old. I wanted my own dog! Well, when I was in 7th grade, my dream came true but not in the way I always thought it might. There was no animal in my stocking (which was good because that's not very safe for the animal), but after everyone had opened all their presents, my sister came in to the room carrying a good sized unwrapped box. It had a big bow on it. And there were holes in the sides. I couldn't believe my eyes. I knew what it was going to be but I was unprepared for how adorable it was. I hesitantly lifted the top off the box and inside was a tiny little puppy that was lying down. It was only after I had been staring at her for about four seconds that she lifted her little head and met my eyes. THE definition of love at first sight. My heart absolutely melted. I lifted her out of the box as gently as I could-I thought she was going to break-and placed her in my lap, trying not to cry. She had been born in October so she was only two months old. Her tail, which curled over her back like a husky, was only about four inches long. Adorable!


Someone told me that the store had said the puppy was part Australian Shepherd (the kind of dog we had at the time) and part Border Collie. Later, the vet informed us that she was an Aussie because of her coloring (it's called "blue merle") but probably Spitz instead of Border Collie.


The rest of the day is kind of a blur (besides not being able to hold her and touch her enough) except for picking out a name. I didn't really know where to start. Another sister suggested the name Blue because she had one blue eye and was a "blue merle." It stuck. (When she grew up, the blue went away but there were still little pieces of blue if you looked closly. :))

I loved Blue. She was my own and my first dog. I remember taking her with me when my mom would drive me to school. It was January in Illinois so it was extremely cold. She was just a little three month old baby so I would hold her inside my jacket. She loved it! It was like her own little cave. (She also loved when I let her into my bed because she would crawl down to the foot of the bed and lay there, under the covers. I always thought she would suffocate but it was one of her favorite things.) I also remember sleeping on the couch in the family room so that I could take her out during the night. She would wake me up about three or four times every night for a quick bathroom break. Then she would be up for the day at 5:30 and I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore before school. I was exhausted. Then came the training and house training during the day. She also had a sensitive stomach and would throw up a lot which I would have to clean up. Getting a puppy is the easiest and quickest way to teach your child about responsibility (once they're old enough to know they CANNOT ignore the dog during the night, etc.)!


One of Blue's most distinctive qualities was how high she could jump. She wasn't even as tall as my knees but if I was standing with my arm straight out holding a toy, she could easily jump to get it. She would sit and look at me and wait. As soon as I said "OK!" she would take off. It doesn't sound very impressive but it really was. She was probably a little less than a foot and a half tall and she was jumping a good five feet into the air.


A little while before Thanksgiving in 2008, Blue started getting sick. To this day I still don't know what it was exactly but after a while, her stomach started swelling. We took her to the vet and they drained a lot of fluid out of the area around her stomach. When we picked her up, she was a lot happier and more energetic and looked like she was about five pounds lighter (which isn't much for a dog her size). She was the normal Blue again. Unfortunately, the same thing started happening a couple weeks later. My sister and I were planning on driving to Arkansas to visit another sister (actually the one who named Blue) and her family. Our family was in Michigan and my sister and I went back to Illinois for New Years. When I said goodbye to Blue, she looked at me with the saddest face I have ever seen. (I'm tearing up right now thinking about it.) She was feeling sick again and didn't want me to leave. I almost burst into tears right then and there. My sister was in the car waiting for me so I felt like I had to hurry up. I regret that so much. I should never have left. But I managed to pull myself together and act normal during my last few seconds with her. As we drove away, Blue was still standing in the same spot. That image of her is branded into my brain and I will never forget it. It was the last time I ever saw my baby.


My sister and I drove to Arkansas on New Year’s Day (10 hours). It was actually a fun drive and I have funny memories from it. We got there pretty late and went right to bed. The next day (before a late breakfast) I got a call from my mom saying that Blue was doing pretty bad. I have lived around many different animals all my life and I knew what had to be done. With difficulty, I told my mom to put Blue (barely six years old) to sleep. I came downstairs and had a very hard time keeping myself from crying, especially as I told my sisters, my brother-in-law, and my sister's three very young kids about Blue. My two sisters and brother-in-law knew what had been happening up to that point but they didn't know about the plan for that day. My dad took Blue into the vet then buried her later in our "pet cemetery" where many animals my family has owned throughout the years are buried. That was a pretty terrible day but being around my nieces and nephew were what kept me from completely loosing it.


We were in Arkansas for a little while then came back home. It was strange when only my sister's dog, Sydney, greeted us at the door. I walked out to Blue's grave which is the only one marked by a cross and immediately felt guilt and regret; I wasn't there. I didn't go with my little Blue to the vet where she was taken to be killed. In some ways that's very good. If I had gone with, she would have 100% been terrified because I would have been crying and she would have been confused. She probably did know something was happening but my dad definitely handled it better than I ever could have. Still, I feel very guilty whenever I think about it and it hasn't lessened at all. If you have a dog and have any chance at all to go with on that day, do it! It will be terrible and sad etc. but it's better than not going and regretting it.